Secrets of the Soul: A Tale of Four Seasons
by Godrina-Drowning-in-Blood
Summary: Hiei discovers a pendant and all his secrets could be revealed, his soul is at stake! NANI? Yuusuke is turning evil? And Kurama's human form is turning into a kitsune! (No OCs! kinda bad start, it will get better!) better than it sounds! R&R PLEASE!
1. Hiei's Struggle & the Mysterious Pendant

HI AGAIN EVERYBODY! *is pelted with various random objects* okay, okay, I know you don't really like me, but I wrote a poem during "Alice in Wonderland" yeah, the Disney movie that I OBVIOUSLY do not own or like. Anyway, it came out super weird, but I had my friend Dana (^_^ Dana you are so cool!) read it and she really liked it.  
  
This fic will be different from all my other ones. *cheers are heard from the readers* *sweatdrop* uh...anyway, I'm going to have a poem, (SOMEBODY PLEASE TELL ME HOW TO DO ITALICS ON FF.NET BECAUSE I'M IN MICROSOFT WORD AND MY ITALICS AND BOLD ALWAYS DISAPPEAR) then after the poem I will have a short chapter, so this fic may have short chapters, but I plan to have a lot of them because my mind has many sadistic and angsty poems ready for yas (the one thing I own! ^_^) all!  
  
Since the fic has a somewhat lighthearted storyline, however, I am going to keep bringing up points from Hiei and Kurama's pasts. This also CONTAINS SPOILERS FROM THE FINAL ROUNDS OF THE DARK TOURNAMENT.  
  
There will be NO YAOI in this fic. *is pelted by various random objects thrown by yaoi lovers* I simply can't write guy-guy romance, I'm not that type of person. *gets hit with a rubber chicken* OH NOT FUNNY! *gets ready to send a fireball into the crowd of yaoi lovers, but thinks better of it*  
  
I do not own Yu-Yu Hakusho or anything else here besides the plot and the little poems. I do not own my inspiration (Linkin Park and Evanescence) either.  
  
~*~  
  
Secrets of the Soul  
  
By Godrina-of-the-Shadows  
  
Chapter one: Hiei's Struggle and the Mysterious Pendant  
  
~*~  
  
I've lost contact with the surface,  
  
as I lie to even my closest friends.  
  
:  
  
A hidden sorrow of which no one knows,  
  
the gentle wind blows trying to calm my furious gale.  
  
:  
  
Untold secrets haunt my dreams,  
  
as unseen tears flow from my eyes in streams of pain.  
  
:  
  
Foreboding images of the past,  
  
against these enemies my mind's defenses will never last.  
  
:  
  
I'm lost and alone inside my mind,  
  
searching for answers I cannot find.  
  
:  
  
Stronger than ever before,  
  
the voices call me inside my head.  
  
:  
  
Watching me, haunting me,  
  
old regret, past betrayal.  
  
:  
  
I'm not who I once was,  
  
yet past wounds tear open, as if they were never healed.  
  
:  
  
My soul cries for deliverance,  
  
as I toss and turn in a restless slumber.  
  
:  
  
My deadliest enemy resides within myself,  
  
tearing me apart from within.  
  
:  
  
Untold secrets taking over me;  
  
Taunting despair nags at my mind,  
  
pulling me back from a shattered reality.  
  
:  
  
But who am I  
  
and what am I becoming?  
  
:  
  
All I know is that I am no longer safe inside myself.  
  
:  
  
Shattered hope, shattered reality,  
  
broken pieces of my life are scattered to the wind.  
  
:  
  
I close my eyes to seek refuge from reality,  
  
I try to dream of refuge in flames.  
  
:  
  
I find myself alone in the snow,  
  
a frigid storm of pain takes over me,  
  
before I fall into an eternal darkness.  
  
:  
  
there is no one to catch me,  
  
no one there to save me.  
  
:  
  
Don't try to catch me,  
  
don't try to save me.  
  
:  
  
I cry tears of sadness, tears of joy,  
  
as I plunge into the shadowy depths.  
  
:  
  
I'm falling forever,  
  
into an oblivion between heaven and hell.  
  
~*~  
  
Hiei woke up in a cold sweat. He had that dream again. The dragon would be there, destroying some unseen opponent that Hiei somehow became enraged with. Then, he would see the enemy...as it screamed in pain and transformed into...Yukina. Hiei made the dragon disappear, but when he tried to comfort Yukina, she would just scream and shrink away from him. 'This is what I get for not telling her,' he thought to himself. 'Oh well, it can't be helped.' He tried to brush it all off, but the dream had occurred more and more often, until the point that he could not go a night without the dream haunting him.  
  
Hiei looked down to find a pile of black gems with a reddish tint in his lap. He leaned sideways to get a glimpse of the ground below the tree he had been sleeping in. Sure enough, the soil was littered with more of these black gems. 'I must've been crying for awhile.' He tried to brush it all off, but the thought that the dream meant something kept nagging at Hiei's head. 'Tell her? No, I can't! I just can't! Besides, my jagan would kill me.'  
  
Figuring that he had settled the ongoing dispute with himself for a few brief moments, he stood up on the tree branch and seemed to disappear from where he stood an instant before. Hiei was not doing anything like teleporting, though. He was just moving too fast for any normal eye to follow as he jumped from tree to tree in the direction of Kurama's house before suddenly turning around in mid-jump. In a single, limber jump, he landed backwards on a branch ahead of him, facing the direction in which he had come. Immediately, he dashed back to the tree he had slept in, and gathered up his teargems.  
  
He mentally kicked himself for not picking them up in the first place. It was the state of mind he was in and he knew it. He was such a wreck mentally, he had forgotten about it entirely. If someone came across his tears, he risked being discovered, something he did not want. He had just finished shoving the last of the gems into his small bag before he noticed a pendant swinging from one of the branches near the one where he had been sleeping. 'That wasn't there before,' he thought.  
  
The pendant consisted of a slender, white string, from which hung a dark red stone, the same color as blood. The stone itself was round and almost a full inch in diameter. The stone seemed to completely captivate Hiei, to him it was mesmerizing. Slowly, he reached out to touch it, just in case it was cursed or something. Sensing no change, Hiei smiled and slipped the pendant around his neck. Turning once again, Hiei stood up and soared off through the trees in the direction of Kurama's house,  
  
~*~  
  
Godrina: What do you think? It was a full four pages in Microsoft word, and I'm really proud of myself. ^_^ even though it was a kind of lame first chapter, I promise it will get more interesting soon!  
  
Youko: tch, yeah right.  
  
Godrina: ooooh u shut up!  
  
Youko: why? Everybody knows you will just mess up the rest of the fic.  
  
Godrina: U BE QUIET! Please review, I will write replies to all your reviews in the next chappie IF anybody decides to.  
  
Youko: which is highly unlikely.  
  
Godrina: -_- just click the little button PLEASE! Flames are welcome as long as you have a good reason, and tell me what it is. Now click the button!  
  
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V (it's supposed to look like an arrow, WORK WITH ME HERE PEOPLE!) 


	2. Kurama's Guilt & the Night Episodes

Okay, it's time for chapter two! *is pelted with more random inanimate objects* YES I KNOW THEY ARE ONLY TWO DAYS APART! sheesh! Well, this chapter is dedicated to my friend Crystal, YOU ARE REALLY COOL! I think her pen name is Crystal Jaganshi, but I could be wrong. All rules and warnings for previous chapter apply.  
  
Also, I want to thank my reviewers, YOU ARE THE TRUE INSPIRATION! I also welcome flamers with open arms, but you must have a good reason. People who flame for stupid reasons make themselves sound stupid.  
  
HA! I drew Kenshin in a Miroku outfit! XD Anyway...I don't own anything (I don't own Yu-Yu Hakusho or any of the hot, HOT, FIREY RED HOT GUYS IN IT! T________T *glomps Toushin Yusuke*) so don't sue already, BAKA LAWYERS!  
  
Also, I have seen several variations on how to spell Shuiichi. What way is correct?  
  
This fic at one point will probably have THREE plots going at once, but they overlap, and are all somewhat related, and are caused by the same thing or person. INTERESTED?!? READ AND REVIEW PLZ!  
  
Alllllriiiiiighty then, time for the Kurama chapter!  
  
~*~  
  
Mirrors of the Soul Chapter 2:  
  
Kurama's Guilt, the Human Fox  
  
~*~  
  
Everyone thinks I'm so perfect,  
  
the boy with no sin.  
  
:  
  
No pain,  
  
no sorrow.  
  
:  
  
But I'm far from perfect,  
  
the definition of monster.  
  
:  
  
A thief,  
  
a killer,  
  
:  
  
I'm a demon,  
  
an incarnation of evil.  
  
(a/n: you can tell I wrote this during Bonds of Fire...*shrugs* NO OWN!)  
  
:  
  
I've stolen,  
  
I've killed.  
  
:  
  
But you seem to take no notice of that,  
  
but that's just because you don't know who I am.  
  
:  
  
I'm feared,  
  
I'm hated,  
  
:  
  
yet you look at me with your smiling face,  
  
and pangs of guilt travel down my spine.  
  
:  
  
If only you could see me,  
  
in the light of the sickle moon,  
  
or that of the full.  
  
:  
  
I've been lying all my life,  
  
I've got everybody fooled.  
  
:  
  
You don't know me,  
  
you never did.  
  
:  
  
What you see is not me.  
  
I'm a murderer,  
  
:  
  
a robber,  
  
a cutthroat.  
  
:  
  
This mask of kindness,  
  
you see me as something I am not.  
  
:  
  
And I would not hesitate,  
  
to return to my old ways,  
  
:  
  
Haunted by past loss,  
  
past hatred.  
  
:  
  
I lay in the darkness,  
  
my life nearly gone,  
  
all of it slowly ebbing from my body.  
  
:  
  
and I smile,  
  
I deserve to die,  
  
for doing this to you.  
  
:  
  
Out of control,  
  
my soul screams for salvation I cannot receive.  
  
:  
  
I reach out,  
  
only to find everything gone.  
  
:  
  
I never deserved what I have,  
  
so it does not matter.  
  
:  
  
Don't smile,  
  
don't tell me it's all right.  
  
:  
  
My lust for blood may force me to harm you,  
  
which to me is a mortal sin.  
  
:  
  
Please let me go,  
  
please don't cry.  
  
:  
  
I do not deserve your tears,  
  
or your love for that matter.  
  
:  
  
I never meant to hurt you,  
  
even though I planned to leave you.  
  
:  
  
But I'm returning to everything,  
  
to as it is meant to be.  
  
:  
  
I'm returning to the place  
  
from whence I came.  
  
:  
  
I take my leave now,  
  
for I do not belong in the world of the living.  
  
:  
  
It ends here for me tonight,  
  
do not be pained by my exit.  
  
:  
  
It is better this way,  
  
be happy when I'm gone.  
  
~*~  
  
Panting, Kurama sat up in bed. It was that dream again. The dream kept haunting him every night since the end of the Dark Tournament. (A/N: In this it has been two years, so Kurama is seventeen.) In the dream, he watched helplessly as Shiori scream and cower in fear, shrinking away from his Youko self in the kitchen. Then there was Shuiichi, the real Shuiichi. He had a frying pan, and was standing between Youko and Shiori. A look of pure terror and hatred was plastered on his gentle features.  
  
"Who the hell are you?" Shiori's soft voice seemed to echo throughout the area.  
  
"My name is Youko Kurama, your executioner," came a harsh reply that didn't even sound like Youko.  
  
"Kurama, NO!" Shuiichi had screamed, banishing his frying pan. There was a bright flash of youki, and both the humans lay stone dead on the floor, bright flowers surrounding their bodies.  
  
There was a tap on the windowpane. "Kurama?" Lazily, the redhead slid out of bed and opened his window.  
  
"Hiei, it's three o'clock am. Go back to sleep." Without waiting to hear the jaganshi's reply, he shut the window and strode in the direction of the bathroom to wash his face. More like rinse. Drenched in water, he closed his eyes and let his energy settle itself; his mind was always disturbed when he hadn't gotten much sleep. How could he possibly sleep with these dreams haunting him? When Kurama looked up, however, he was startled by what he saw. He kept a plant in his bathroom, a spider plant it was known as, (this is a real plant, I can't spell the name, though) and this plant was no more than a mere houseplant, harmless. But somehow, in less than a minute, it had grown large enough to fill most of the bathroom, and the pot was shattered and laying in pieces all over the bathmat.  
  
Kurama must've sat there staring at the plant for five whole minutes before he realized that it was moving. One of the tender long leaves was sliding up from the side of his face, and through his bangs.  
  
As he stood in wonder and amazement at how the normal houseplant had grown to such a monstrous size, a single thought settled itself in the kitsune's mind.  
  
This. was. not. normal.  
  
~*~  
  
Godrina: Kurama is freaked out! What in seven hells is going on? Who's confused? *raises hand* okaaaay, like I promised, here's review replies for all of you VERY NICE AND WONDERFUL PEOPLE who reviewed! *hands out Hiei plushies to everyone who reviewed* ^__^ Sorry if Kurama was a little OOC, stuff is happening that he's not used to, and about the window thing, do you want a fire demon making you open your window at three am? (all fangirls nod and swoon) Thought not.  
  
Salebu: YOU THOUGHT IT WAS INTERESTING? YAY! ^________^ I feel special! Well, there's a second chapter for ya, sorry for making you wait.  
  
Cheeto: I don't have to update if I don't want to, I hope you realize that. Anyway, I'm glad you liked it!  
  
KuramaandHiei4ever: Here's the chapter you asked for! I actually was going to do the Yusuke one second, (Yusuke lovers boo) but hey, you ask, I deliver!  
  
Tsukikage4: *waves* HI DANA! Thank you for the encouragement and putting me on your favorites list! *hugs computer* YOU COOL!  
  
Kitsune of Light: HI LISA! You're awesome as usual. You and Dana are the only things between Mal and my sanity. ^^  
  
DarkAnimeChick: Well, sorry for leaving you hanging like that, but like I said earlier this chapter, there's going to be three overlapping plots. Oh and THANK YOU FOR PUTTING ME ON YOUR FAVORITES LIST! *tear* I feel loved! Don't think it goes unnoticed! I might even write more of these style fics if I get enough reviews.  
  
Crystal Jaganshi: SO THAT IS YOUR PENNAME! I was just checking. ^_^ Thanx for reviewing, and don't worry about Youko, he's got you haunting his dreams. *wink, wink* Anyway, YOU ROCK! The angst thing kinda...developed...*twitches* too much role playing. Oh, and Hiei says Hi.  
  
Night Fox Hiten: ^______________^ it has potential! YAY! Now all I have to do is get the third plot introduction done and we'll have this story off the ground! After my OOC chappie, does it still have potential? I think it died...X_X like my brain-EVIL WRITER'S BLOCK!  
  
~*~  
  
Okay, so if your name wasn't there, or if it was and you want to review again (I love loyal reviewers!) JUST CLICK THE LITTLE BUTTON! IT SAYS GO! YOU CAN EVEN COLLECT $200 IF YOU WANT! XD  
  
(the arrow is back on request from Dana)  
  
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v 


	3. Yusuke's Conflict & the Dark Place

Godrina: Before I start this chapter, I want to thank all the reviewers, YOU PEOPLES ARE SO AWESOME! YOU MAKE ME FEEL LOVED! Even though I envy anyone with 300, 100, 75, or even 50 reviews, you reviewers never fail to make me feel special. *hugs computer*  
  
Hiei: tch, yeah right. You're just saying that,  
  
Godrina: oh really? *tosses Kurama plushies to everyone who read the Kurama chapter* I LOVE YOU ALL! Except Nicole =P I know you prefer being called Xue, Robbie, and Konrad. *sticks tongue out at Robbie and Konrad* I can put up with you, but you drive me insane, especially Robbie. HIEI! SAY IT!  
  
Hiei: say what?  
  
Godrina: aw, you're so cute when you're confused! The disclaimer, the DISCLAIMER!  
  
Hiei: -_- fine, my name is Hiei, and Godrina-of-the-Shadows does not own me or any other members of the cast of Yu -Yu Hakusho.  
  
Godrina: T____T nope, I don't. K'SO HIEI I LOVE YOU! *is pelted by rubber bands thrown by the Hiei lovers*  
  
Hiei: um, can we please get on with the fic?  
  
Godrina: we can, if my computer doesn't crash within the next three hours.  
  
~Three Hours Later~  
  
Hiei: see? It didn't crash!  
  
Computer: *crashes*  
  
Godrina: I hate you.  
  
Hiei: really?  
  
Godrina: no, I really do love you! *hugs him*  
  
Hiei: *choking* I CAN'T BREATHE! Switch the scene! Switch the scene!  
  
~Camera switches to a field of flowers~  
  
Godrina's voice: uh...put the scene back.  
  
~Nothing happens~  
  
Godrina's voice: RETARD CAMERAMAN! PUT THE SCENE BACK!  
  
~Scene switches back to Godrina and Hiei on the black background~  
  
Hiei: *massaging his neck* Now, without further super-lame-conversation- thingy-that's-supposed-to-be-an-author's-note, we present...*drum roll* the Yusuke chapter! *single person claps*  
  
~*~  
  
Shadows of the Soul: a Tale of Four Seasons  
  
Chapter 3 - Yusuke's Conflict: Nothing?  
  
by Godrina-of-the-Shadows  
  
~*~  
  
I say I want to be the strongest,  
  
but all I want is to be loved.  
  
:  
  
I say I'm the hero,  
  
but I want to be a normal guy.  
  
:  
  
Bad choices I made,  
  
things I should have done,  
  
:  
  
I could have had a better life,  
  
but it just had to come to this.  
  
:  
  
I laugh,  
  
I try to make jokes,  
  
I try to act like none of it matters.  
  
:  
  
To me,  
  
it does.  
  
:  
  
No one has knowledge  
  
of this pain I'm suffering,  
  
I've lost more than most will ever have,  
  
:  
  
and now,  
  
I'm nothing.  
  
:  
  
No one needs me,  
  
I'm useless.  
  
:  
  
Nothing fills this void in my life,  
  
everything seems so pointless.  
  
:  
  
I'm going to disappear one day,  
  
and no one will remember me.  
  
:  
  
Should I care?  
  
No, there is no reason.  
  
:  
  
I beat others down,  
  
to try to build myself up,  
  
:  
  
but I know that I'm the useless one.  
  
:  
  
If I try to be tough,  
  
I'm hated and feared.  
  
:  
  
If I try to be nice,  
  
I'm called weak and I'm tormented.  
  
:  
  
So what is there?  
  
Nothing.  
  
:  
  
If there is nothing,  
  
then what is there to live for?  
  
:  
  
If life is meaningless,  
  
why choose to live?  
  
:  
  
I could have had it,  
  
I threw it away.  
  
:  
  
I don't need to live,  
  
I don't want to live.  
  
:  
  
Someone,  
  
please end it,  
  
:  
  
Someone,  
  
please erase all my pain.  
  
:  
  
No one is there to help me,  
  
no one wishes to end my torment.  
  
:  
  
Everyone wants to laugh as I suffer,  
  
but I must not blame them for their blindness.  
  
:  
  
They cannot see  
  
how much pain I am in.  
  
:  
  
I'm nothing,  
  
there is nothing.  
  
:  
  
Life is so...  
  
simple.  
  
~*~  
  
Yusuke opened his eyes slowly. "Where am I?" he wondered out loud to no one in particular. Everything was so dark, he couldn't see anything, or so he thought. He lifted his hand to his face, and was startled to find he could see it as clear as if it was bright. "What is this place?" he questioned the air.  
  
[Eternal darkness.]  
  
Yusuke jumped and turned around at the sound of another's voice. Strangely enough, he could not find the owner of the voice in the darkness.  
  
[The place of all wandering souls.]  
  
This only confused the hanyou more. Eternal darkness? Wandering souls? What was all that supposed to mean? Whose voice was that anyway? It seemed familiar. . .  
  
[You should know me, Yusuke.]  
  
"Who are you?!?" He called back into the darkness. Yusuke became slightly agitated at the lack of reply, so he called back again. "TELL ME!" After some time, the voice came again.  
  
[You should know me, Yusuke.]  
  
'Yeah, I definitely know the owner of that voice,' he thought. 'But...I just can't place it.' Then, he felt himself falling. He looked up and just saw darkness, going on forever.  
  
[How could you forget me, Yusuke?]  
  
"How can I forget you if I don't know who you are?"  
  
He was still falling. Yusuke could feel it, even though he didn't know how fast or far he was falling, that was all he knew. Yusuke called out to the voice with his questions some more, but the voice did not answer. The voice remained silent. Why couldn't he place the voice? It seemed so familiar as if he had known its owner his whole life, but it didn't belong to anyone he could think of.  
  
[Have you really forgotten me, Yusuke?]  
  
Yusuke wanted to scream in frustration. There was no way this person or whatever it was could possibly know him. He thought of everyone that he ever had knowledge of knowing. His mother, his friends, schoolmates. teachers, demons he had defeated, demons his allies had defeated, none of them seemed to match this voice.  
  
[Hey moron, figure it out already!]  
  
Then he realized who it was. It was-  
  
~*~  
  
XD HA I AM SOOOOOO EVIL! I think that is the worst cliffie EVER in the history of all fanfiction. Who do YOU think it is? (I have two ideas, but I have to wait for the next YYH dvd to come out before I can have one of them, so It'll probably be the first one XD BUT I DIDN'T TELL YOU WHO!)  
  
And now, it's time for REVIEW REPLIES! *throws Kurama plushies to all the people who reviewed the Kurama chapter*  
  
Princess Krystal 01: I'm glad you like it. I'll try to update once a week or so, maybe a little longer, but this is my first pre-written fic.  
  
KuramaandHiei4Ever: YOU LIKE ME? YAY! *hugs computer* I'm feeling so special! (no not special ed, losers) *huggles Hiei* well, I'm happy you liked the Kurama chapter; it was the most fun to write out of these three! I don't really have a plot for Kuwabara in mind, but since I don't have much against him, I might introduce one later if I think of one. About the poem thing, THANK YOU SO MUCH! Actually, I have problems writing any poetry that doesn't have to do with anime. X_x Thanks again for the long review! Leave long review, get long reply. ^.^ Thanks for putting me on your favorites list and author alert too! It's nice people like you that inspire me!  
  
Kitsune of Light: *waves* HI LISA! and happy new year to you too!  
  
Saelbu: I'm glad you're still interested. I'll try to keep it suspenseful for ya, but it might get weird, and SOMEBODY MIGHT DIE IF I GET A WRITER'S BLOCK!  
  
*reviewers run away*  
  
T.T NOOOOO!!!!!!! I JUST SCARED AWAY ALL THE REVIEWERS! Flamers are welcome as long as you give a good reason, stupid flamers, you shouldn't talk, it makes you sound stupid. ALL GOOD REVIEWERS GET YUSUKE PLUSHIES! now....PLEASE REVIEW! DON'T MAKE ME BEG!  
  
Hiei: yes, make her beg!  
  
How about this? I won't update until I have 15 reviews! You have been warned! 


	4. Hiei's Despair & the Lost Dream

Godrina: I AM BAAAAAAAAAACK!  
  
Youko: *sarcastically* yay.  
  
Godrina: you're so mean...*sniff*  
  
Youko: tch...and your point is...?  
  
Godrina: my internet breaks down so I can't update and you don't miss me?  
  
Youko: ...  
  
Godrina: *cries* I'm a bad authoress!  
  
Youko: *sweatdrop* Godrina does not own me or anybody else in the fic.  
  
~*~  
  
Secrets of the Soul: a Tale of Four Seasons  
  
Chapter Four  
  
Hiei's despair & a Further Denial  
  
~*~  
  
Who am I  
  
to fight the darkness?  
  
:  
  
I want to let it in,  
  
I want it to swallow me.  
  
:  
  
Being pulled back from the light,  
  
I try to hold onto you,  
  
:  
  
But I have to let go,  
  
I don't want you to fall the way I do.  
  
:  
  
I'm the one who deserves it,  
  
let me suffer alone.  
  
:  
  
Alone in this dark place,  
  
what will I become?  
  
Swallowed by despair,  
  
:  
  
Untouchable.  
  
:  
  
My thoughts burn,  
  
with an unshakable hatred.  
  
Hatred of what?  
  
:  
  
I'm so warm in this flame,  
  
but my spirit sleeps in a frost of darkness.  
  
:  
  
No one can save me,  
  
no one can help me.  
  
:  
  
I continue to fall.  
  
:  
  
All this inside,  
  
I'll let all the pain out.  
  
:  
  
Unbearable.  
  
:  
  
I'm lost,  
  
you can't find me.  
  
:  
  
Flowers around me,  
  
fall from the sky,  
  
:  
  
only to be burned,  
  
by my hatred and lies.  
  
:  
  
A betrayal to my own kind,  
  
I'm lost in the dark.  
  
:  
  
Cold chains of sadness  
  
wrap around my heart  
  
:  
  
and pull me  
  
into a bottomless abyss of darkness.  
  
:  
  
Haunting me,  
  
following me,  
  
:  
  
Ghosts of my past torment me,  
  
disguised as my own weapons of pain.  
  
:  
  
Clear flames of hell  
  
licking my body and soul,  
  
:  
  
showing me despairing memories  
  
of the torn past.  
  
:  
  
A burning regret.  
  
A frozen betrayal.  
  
:  
  
I continue to pray for forbidden mercy,  
  
clinging to my last shred of hope.  
  
:  
  
My loss,  
  
my despair.  
  
:  
  
It dissipates in my hands.  
  
:  
  
I can't see,  
  
I can't breathe.  
  
:  
  
Unreachable.  
  
:  
  
I close my eyes,  
  
I let out my last breath.  
  
:  
  
I find myself lying on my back,  
  
surrounded by an amber flame.  
  
:  
  
Unseen monsters pull on my frozen chains,  
  
they pull me away from the light,  
  
:  
  
dragging me away from my ever-precious flame of life,  
  
into a cold, dark oblivion.  
  
:  
  
Slowly falling downward,  
  
I silently subject to the despair.  
  
~*~  
  
"It's three o'clock am, go back to sleep, Hiei."  
  
The window slid shut before Hiei could even get another word out. Hiei blinked several times as the kitsune walked into the bathroom and shut the door behind him.  
  
Was Kurama being irritable? Hiei shook his head. Kurama was always willing to talk to Hiei about things, no matter what time it was. Hiei shrugged it off and flitted away, dismissing it as nothing more than a lack of sleep. 'That was a total waste of time,' he thought. He returned to his perch on the branch in the tree he had slept in.  
  
Hiei took off the pendant and looked at it, running its smooth surface across his hands slowly. Slightly clawed hands gripped it tightly, unable to find any groove within the pure stone. He smiled to himself and slipped the pendant around his neck once more. It was so beautiful...  
  
Hiei sat there for an hour or two, and drifted off to sleep as the sun began to rise. Not more than two hours later, a little kid passed by with his mother. The boy pointed to Hiei and asked his mother a single question.  
  
"Mommy, why is that boy sleeping in a tree?"  
  
"Maybe it is because he doesn't have a home," the mother replied calmly.  
  
"Why doesn't that boy have a home? Don't his parents love him?"  
  
"Honey, that is what people call an orphan."  
  
"An orphan?"  
  
"An orphan is a child with no mommy or daddy."  
  
"What about a grandmommy? Do orphans have grandmommies and granddaddies?"  
  
"Honey," the mother said, reaching down to pick him up, "orphans are very unlucky children. They don't have families at all."  
  
Hiei slowly eased his eyes open and yawned. He could hear voices talking.  
  
"Then why doesn't the orphan boy go find a family?"  
  
"Maybe it is because nobody wants him."  
  
Hiei looked down at the people from which the voices came. One was a tall woman with dark brown hair. The other was a little boy that she held tightly in her warm arms. He blinked and jumped down.  
  
"Hn, so what if my parents are dead? I get alone fine on my own, oh, and I do have a family. I have a sister, whom I love very much," there was a blur and he was gone.  
  
~*~  
  
wow, this chapter came out a lot worse than I expected it to. GOMEN NANSAI! I had a killer writer's block.  
  
Youko: tch, don't make excuses.  
  
Godrina: I wasn't! Do you have no faith in me?  
  
Youko: yes, I have faith in you to mess this whole fic up.  
  
Godrina: *cries* you're so mean!  
  
Review Replies:  
  
Night Fox Hiten: You're such a loyal reviewer! Don't worry, you're not a freak. You're probably just like me. Insane. THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT! XD here, you can have a Yusuke plushie!  
  
KuramaandHiei4Ever: I always put off my hw too...that's what I'm doing at the moment. X.x You think the voice is Genkai? Maybe! You'll just have to wait and find out. XD Yusuke plushie?  
  
Malorie: HI MAL! I think I know you...XD lol, thanks for reviewing my story! ^^  
  
Kitsune of Light: hey Anatalia, ^_^ I needed a perk...you think the voice is Kuwabara? MAYBE! I think you'll just have to wait and see as well. *throws her a human Inuyasha plushie* special for you!  
  
Cheeto: hello again. Thanks for reviewing again! ^.^ I feel so loved! Have a Yusuke plushie!  
  
Salebu: sorry for taking so long to update, my internet wouldn't work at all. *killing computer* the next chapter will be a lot faster! ^_^ Yusuke plushie?  
  
Agent Dark Moose: I know they are! Thank you for reviewing my story! I reviewed yours! Have a Yusuke plushie!  
  
Computerchick100 & JewelFaerie12: O_O ^_^ thanks for the crazy review! In my depressed state I needed a lift! *gives JewelFaerie12 her Kurama plushie and ComputerChick100 her Yusuke plushie. ^_^  
  
Veronica: GOMEN NANSAI FOR NOT UPDATING! T__T damn computer...Yusuke plushie make you feel better! *gives her a Yusuke plushie*  
  
~*~  
  
Plot question:  
  
How do you think Kurama will react to the monster-size house plant in his bathroom?  
  
~*~  
  
So...since I'm going for a goal here on the number of reviews I have...I want 25 before my next update!  
  
Youko: like that's ever going to happen...  
  
Shut up, don't make me get out the hot water!  
  
Youko: meep!  
  
That's more like it! Like I was saying...Please review, if you want to comment, flame (you need a good reason!), rp, or just hang out with me in the author notes, review!  
  
or just...REVIEW FOR THE HELL OF IT! XD  
  
now...click go and collect $200!  
  
Youko: *sweatdrop* we know you won't update anyway...  
  
YOU DON'T TRUST ME?!?!? *bursts into tears*  
  
Youko: -_- just review and make her stop crying...PLEASE! 


	5. Crying Tears of Light

DON'T SKIP THIS CHAPTER! SCROLL DOWN FOR MY CHAPTER! Alright, hey everybody. I've been on the world's HUGEST writer's block, so I decided to do a little rant to some of my music and maybe I can build on what I wrote later. Anyway, I don't own anything, not even the black domey thingy, my friend made it up while we were rping. I'm going INSANE HERE!!!!!!! I CAN'T WRITE ANYTHING!!!!! OO DARKNESS IS TAKING OVER!!!!!!! runs towards Nina's house ANSEM YOU #$&&$%&#%!&%(!#(%)#$&%!&#$%!$&#%($#&!!!!!!!! (I am OKAY! ...I think... okay maybe I'm not okay but THATS OKAY!)

-----

Shadows creeping up from below,  
  
gripping onto all they touch.  
  
An intangible fear permeates the air,  
  
again I feel this wind in my hair.  
  
Something is wrong,  
  
the sky grows red.  
  
People turn to run,  
  
but there is nowhere to go.  
  
The darkness is taking over.  
  
Creatures of hell appear in the sky,  
  
an assault from both sides.  
  
Nothing can stop this anger,  
  
the darkness is taking over.  
  
Inside my soul  
  
the one thing I know  
  
is that nothing is safe anymore.  
  
No turning back,  
  
no crying anymore,  
  
no more lying,  
  
everything is extreme.  
  
I can't feel anything,  
  
I'm too numb,  
  
yet I can see everything.  
  
Don't think you can stop me,  
  
don't try to top me.  
  
High above it all I stand,  
  
this place that was once sacred land.  
  
What will tomorrow bring?  
  
Don't turn away,  
  
don't say goodbye.  
  
I am here,  
  
there is nothing left to fear.  
  
The darkness inside my mind,  
  
no one else can see.  
  
Here it is,  
  
within reach of my hand,  
  
everything promised for  
  
the owner of this land.  
  
I can't stop it burning inside,  
  
I'm alone.  
  
--a lone flute plays a sad tune,  
  
Desert Rune,  
  
Desert Rune,  
  
my soulmate,  
  
I cry for you,  
  
unseen tears.  
  
My heart is crying--  
  
Don't be afraid,  
  
I am here for you.  
  
The shadows cover us,  
  
we fall into an abyss.  
  
Here together we are,  
  
glowing blue lights surround us,  
  
dragons dance in this space.  
  
Where are we,  
  
what is this place so gloried?  
  
--Annani issho Dattononi--  
  
This is heaven for us.  
  
This is where we want to be.  
  
I can't say no to you,  
  
crying tears of light.  
  
Flowers bloom in my dreams,  
  
silence fills the space so wonderfully.  
  
No one is there to disturb us.  
  
Here we are,  
  
together again.  
  
No one can disturb us,  
  
I smile,  
  
we are so happy,  
  
here in this endless night.  
  
We are surrounded by rainbow light,  
  
it flows from your eyes--  
  
Here we are together again,  
  
crying tears of light.  
  
This endless night is our world,  
  
this is where we belong.  
  
Life goes on on the outside,  
  
leaving us behind.  
  
You are crying for me,  
  
I'm so sorry---  
  
Crying tears of light.

-----

Thank you if you read the above. 

I now have an Idea! WOOT!!!!!! .

[is so proud of herself]

I bet nobody cares, but that's okay.

Should I write another chapter like this one?

PLEASE TELL ME!

REVIEW!

Musical Inspiration: --Annani issho Dattononi-- 


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